Hog Jaw Daily News - Ultimate Fightin Debuts

Written by victor nicholas

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

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People Drove in for Miles

Hog Jaw AK - Ultimate fightin took hold here last night at the ag barn with over 1,500 people crowd'n the place to see a husband and wife match-up in the heavyweight division.

Chicken ranchers Hally and Irene Bone from the north side say they've been training "unofishly" for the past 20 years since they wuz married down at the junction at the start of bird season.

Round one started with Hally and Irene staying on their stools in their corners dishing at wun'nother names we daren't repeat. When encouraged by the referee to come out and fight the couple both replied that "That's how we start in at each other if'n you come round the ranch onna weekend."

Hally and Irene then both sucked back on their water bottles, sayin it was "Mighty fine stuff", gave a "HOOOOEEEY" and stepped up for round two.

Hally went for Irene's throat right off the bat figgerin it might shut her up good but twarn't the case as she just hollered loudern ever only worse.

While Hally had his hands oner throat Irene showed what she was made of by quickly grabbing his wallet, a move she is famous for called "The Irene."

Hally quickly signaled submission ending the fight too quick'n for most.

Funny thing after was a mix-up when Hally and Irene put their teeth back-in and got mixed up so'n Irene put Hally's choppers in by mistake lookin all comical like those bucktoothed Hansons from Milner Ridge.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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