Cryanair charge for use of resuscitation paddles

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

image for Cryanair charge for use of resuscitation paddles
Paul Dearheart being rushed to hospital [next time get there before they're in the ambulance, Pete the Photogropher! - Ed

Under fire budget airline, Cryanair, have come under more criticism after a passenger nearly died on their flight back from (an airport within seventy miles of) Alicante.

Paul Dearheart, 42, was travelling alone back from visiting relatives in Spain, when he had a massive coronary heart attack. Although required by international aviation law to carry resuscitation paddles for such an emergency, it transpired that use of the paddles have a surcharge associated with them.

As the man was alone, his travel partner could not stump up the fifty pounds required for the use of the paddles. Fortunately, Juliet Quebec, a quick thinking nurse from Doncaster, realised that there was very little time to act. She had a whip round from charitable passengers on board, who were appalled at the cynical money making enterprise employed by the airline, and raised the necessary hire charge. Miss Quebec then used the paddles to resuscitate Dearheart. She had to do it herself, as there was a further three hundred pound charge for the use of a flight attendant to perform CPR.

Dearheart was successfully revived, and is less than impressed at Cryanair.

"I am less than impressed with Cryanair," said Dearheart while being treated in an ambulance at Yeadon Airport. "I shall not be travelling with them again."

He had nothing but praise for his saviour, Juliet Quebec and his fellow passengers. "But for their generosity and Juliet's brave actions, I wouldn't be here today."

Miss Quebec, 29, was a little embarrassed at the praise. "I just did what anybody with my extensive training and incredible intelligence would have done in that situation. It is the generosity of the passengers we should be praising."

Cryanair refused to comment, but it has been discovered that they will be billing Mr Dearheart for the unscheduled stop at such a major airport.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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