Isle of Wight News - top Signs to be Installed

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Monday, 12 July 2010

image for Isle of Wight News - top Signs to be Installed
How Will Signs Work?

Whippingham - Mayor Tom Shovel and Council voted unanimously last night to install traffic control signs at all major intersections of roads in town. The signs will be octagonal in shape and red in colour to attract attention.

Mayor Shovel said "The increase in tourist traffic in the summer in combination with an increase in visitors from Ryde has put a strain on our roadways. The new traffic control signs will be familiar to tourists and help project a progressive image for the town."

Longtime resident and community leader Marjorie Givens 67 of 2 Bettsworth strongly opposed the motion "It's a waste of tax money it is, it will take away from the historical nature of our city and only tourists will use them, horses can't read signs and either can half the people from Wooton Bridge."

Sandown Inn owner Kevin Spicer, who visits Whippinham regularly agrees. "People stopping at the same time at intersections with the new signs are supposed to decide who is to go on a first-come first-serve basis. What about the old way of sizing up the condition of your load and horses with your neighbour and letting the man in most need be on his way first?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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