Isle of Wight News - Crime on the Rise

Funny story written by victor nicholas

Monday, 12 July 2010

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Is Whippingham Safe?

Whippingham - Longtime resident and community leader Marjorie Givens 67 of 2 Bettsworth has made an appointment to meet with Mayor Shovel regarding what she calls a "alarming increase in crime."

"Just last week I woke up in the morning to find that someone had overturned my birdbath and pulled down my Guernsey Cream clematis. Constable Millington tried to tell me it was probably the neighbor's cat that did it, is this the best police work the people of Whippingham can expect? The criminals are still out there planning to overturn more birdbaths right now and may be part of an organized crime syndicate for all we know'"

"They know what they can get away with, cheek is what they are, Cheeky!"

"Mayor Shovel needs to hire another policeman or special investigator. Constable Millington can't do it on his own working full-time on the bicycle theft problem as he is. It's getting so that I'm afraid to go out in my own yard to keep up the garden."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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