Media Praying For A Gruesome End To Raoul Moat Manhunt

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

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Rothbury, Northumberland, UK - Rumours are surfacing that the news media are hoping for a Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid style shoot out to conclude the Raoul Moat manhunt.

Sources apparently overheard several conversations between pressmen and TV news reporters in the area suggesting that a blood soaked finale to the whole sorry episode would be regarded as a favourable outcome for the media.

The media logic is seemingly based on the lack of interesting news from other sources, in what is known as the 'silly season' - that sluggish period when the media are forced to bottom feed on meaningless stories, usually during the summer holiday season.

A bloody shoot out would doubtlessly please the hard nosed journalists, as can perhaps be illustrated by Sky News sending anchorwoman Kay Burley and a helicopter to Rothbury.

But thankfully not Anna Botting, who made an absolute bollocks of her reporting of the Whitehaven gun rampage.

One local source told Skoob News:

"Them bastards don't want a peaceful conclusion. They want a fucking big shoot out, with lurds of casualties, and the Moat blurk all shot to bits like Clyde oot of Bonnie and Clyde. They'd probably love it if he got into a school or summink, and kilt some nippaz. I'm not saying that it's what the coppaz want, but the media's fuckin' mad forrit leek."

Although we can't confirm the claims, it is difficult to argue with them on any moral basis.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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