Raoul Moat Manhunt - Alan Shearer And Peter Beardsley To Be Drafted In?

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 7 July 2010


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image for Raoul Moat Manhunt - Alan Shearer And Peter Beardsley To Be Drafted In?
The Police, Pictured Yesterday - Really Busy.

With no immediate solution to hand as the manhunt for gunman and suspected killer Raoul Moat continues in the Rothbury area of Northumberland, Skoob News decided to go to the heart of the matter and ask people in Newcastle what they think should be done to bring a peaceful conclusion to an already fraught situation.

The most sensible answer we received was from a man in a pub with a pit bull terrier, who suggested that the Northumbria Police draft in Geordie soccer legends Alan Shearer and Peter Beardsley to try to talk Moat into giving himself up.

The logic behind this, being that Moat is probably a 'Toon' fan who idolises Shearer and Beardsley, and would probably take some notice of anything which they might say to him.

The major flaw in this idea being that Shearer is in South Africa, presently working as a BBC World Cup pundit, and we're not sure where Peter Beardsley is - but he's probably on holiday in Goa, or somewhere similar with his family.

So we were a bit snookered there.

But at least it seemed like a goer, unlike suggestions that the RAF should drop napalm on the woodlands, that they should send the veloceraptors out of Jurassic Park in there, or that they should send some Predators in with Rambo.

We await some sensible suggestions.

More if we get them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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