Gunman Moat 'hiding under drawbridge' at Alnwick Castle

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

image for Gunman Moat 'hiding under drawbridge' at Alnwick Castle
Moat was last seen here this afternoon

Newcastle - (Fugitive News): Crazed Geordie shooter Raoul Moat has been spotted under the drawbridge of Alnwick.

Police with sniffer dogs attempted to dredge the stagnant ditch following reports that Moat had a secret underwater hideyhole.

But the trench was mired with so much filth and detritus that the poor mutts began retching, rendering Operation Portcullis futile.

Northumberland Police are now considering blowing up secret tunnels linking Alnwick Castle to nearby Alnmouth railway station.

The move follows a tipoff that Moat might be lying in wait to catch the midnight train to Balatter in Scotland where he can claim immunity from arrest by leaning on the Lord High Lieutenant of Balmoral.

The royal Scottish residence has no moat itself, nor any drawbridge, ramparts, fortifications etc.

But it does have a long hystery of hiuding some of the worst criminals in all the British Isles.

The Yorkshire Ripper regularly holidays there with his aunt Elizabeth Windsor on a specially arranged August parole scheme.

Cumbrian shooter Derrick Bird is six feet under.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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