Written by Katarina Frogpond2

Friday, 2 July 2010

image for Sexy Russian Spy says Revolution is Nigh
"Let them eat vegetables" taunted the fat cat health chiefs

The sexy female Russian spy, known simply as Anna, is believed to have reported back to Mother Russia that Britain is on the brink of revolution. Very close friends of Anna's, who still kept in touch with her after she moved on to spy on America, said she was shocked at the news that British Politicians bought duck houses and cleaned their moats at the public's expense while the majority of people starved.

Kind hearted Anna is also said to have been shocked at the fact that the British Government were so out of touch that when told the people in poorer areas had lower life expectancies because of poor nutrition, they said "Let them eat vegetables. Let them eat 5 a day".

She reported back that a box of blueberries in Britain were sold at the same price as a bumper sized bag of oven chips and a box of 16 hamburgers. £4.00 for 100 calories of a healthy food, compared to thousands of calories for that of an unhealthy food. All for the same price. She is believed to have commented that you could feed a family of four for a week with the unhealthy food but could only feed the family rabbit for three days with the healthy option.

She also couldn't understand the cruelty of the governmental organisations who then made the poor people feel like bad citizens because they ended up with obesity problems and had to take up more NHS time than rich people.

Anna noticed in her observations that poor people shopped at freezer shops while rich people shopped at Tesco and that was why they had health problems. She also noted that when Governments wanted more money they didn't tax fat cat bankers who had stolen all of Britain's money, they taxed the poor even more.

Anna is believed to have said the conditions in Britain were just like those in 1917 just before the Russian Revolution, or in pre-revolutionary France when Marie Antoinette told the French people to "eat cake".

She said that she believed that things were going to get worse as the new Tory Government has begun to hurt the poor even more. She concluded her report by saying "These people are very sad and unfortunate human beings they need happiness from Russia. Please organise food parcels and special gifts. There is much suffering is this poor country."

Anna's recommendations were that she be moved to America because she didn't want to be caught up in the troubles she knew were coming to Britain. She also called for cheaper Vodka imports to Britain because she felt that Russia needed to play its part in providing humanitarian aid to a third world country. She felt very sorry for everyone involved.

Katarina Frogpond

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Spy

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