Russian spies linked to UK supermarket chain 'behind London 7/7 bombings'

Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 29 June 2010

image for Russian spies linked to UK supermarket chain 'behind London 7/7 bombings'
A snapshot from the MI5 dossier

London - (B-O-G-O-F Mess): A UK supermarket group suspected of being 'up to its ass' in terrorism has emerged as the eminence grise behind the US spy saga.

The food retailer had been under covert surveillance for decades ever since Princess Diana was caught shoplifting disposable syringes from its Belgravia branch.

It's also been top of MI5's list of suspects behind the 7/7 London bombings that used the 'homegrown Asian terrorist' story as a smokescreen cover.

Yesterday 10 of the 11 KGB moles arrested in the USA emerged as having regularly holidayed in London where they set up bogus home delivery accounts with the same Princess Di branch.

They then proceeded to gorge themselves on its wares including lashings of premium grade caviar, vintage champagne and grand cru clarets.

In exchange the vacationing spies regularly checked and updated the supermarket group's terror status with US security agencies.

A spokesperson for the food retailer said today the report 'was a loada bollox' - probably from some disgruntled Buy-One-Get-One-Free customer.

Ex-CIA operative Aldrich Ames and former FBI officer Bob Hanssen were both hung out to dry for working for the KGB in a spectacular 2-for-the-price-of-one tipoff from NATO military intelligence.

This week's star offer is on kumquats.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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