Christine Bleakley Vacations In Sardinia Hoping To Get Some Color Onto Her Super White Body

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 2 July 2010

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ISLA DE LAS VIEJAS, Sardinia - Presenter Christine Bleakley was photographed sunning herself by the pool at the plush exquisite Hotel Frank Sinatra.

The stunning 31-year-old native of Northern Ireland has been wanting to get some color ever since one of her nieces said to her, "Aunty your ass is almost totally transparent, wouldn't it be nice to get some color on the little bugger?"

Bleakley said that she immediately called up Trans Water Tours and booked a flight to Sardinia with a one week stay at the luxurious Hotel Frank Sinatra, which was so named because it was the hotel where Sinatra and his wife Mia Farrow used to stay at when they visited Italy.

Sinatra was reportedly 30 years older than Mia Farrow. He used to say that he would sit around drinking Scotch and Water and Mia would sit around drinking vanilla milk shakes.

He also said that when they would go out to a fancy restaurant he would have a New York Steak and Mia would opt for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Bleakley was accompanied by her football playing husband Frank Lampard. She said that he was feeling quite dejected since they had been ousted out of the World Cup Finals.

But Christine smiled and said that she knew exactly what to do to put a great big smile on his face. When asked to elaborate, she blushed and said that it involved Italian Vino, Fettucine Alfredo, a condom or two, and her infamous Northern Ireland love harbor.

Christine who recently water skied across the English Channel in one hour and 40 minutes says that next she would like to water ski across the Atlantic Ocean starting at Portsmouth, England, and ending up in New York City.

But for now she says that since she has never really had a tan she would love to get some tan lines because she says that her boyfriend Frankie has always told her how much he loves to see a girl with sexy tan lines on her butt.

SIDENOTE: Christine was recently asked to appear in a naked photo shoot in one of England's top men's magazines PlayGent. But she says she turned it down because she felt that she was just way too white and that English chaps, gents, and blokes would not like to see a woman's lily white ass.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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