A new UK report released today reveals that over 70% of internet usage can be attributed to silver surfers, or in some cases, baldy headed surfers, as increasing numbers of tech savvy senior citizens get to grips with the complexities of the net.
Once the almost exclusive domain of the young, with youth orientated websites such as MTV, theSpoof.com, and You Tube, the oldies have struck the first blow in their battle to control the internet.
Where once music downloads dominated, new websites have sprung up with offerings more suited to elderly tastes, offering net content about vuvuzelas, Miley Cyrus's vagina, Robert Pattinson's penis, and even Lady Gaga's 'penis.'
Old person, Albert Higginbottom told us:
"Old people are revolutionising the interweb by introducing more and more pornographic filth. It's lovely. Old people love to read about vampire vaginas and stuff like that. And giant turds, and UFO's, incontinence and erectile dysfunction. Arses are pretty popular too, but not in a gay way - usually stories about things getting accidentally or forcefully stuck up arse holes. Us oldies love that sort of thing."
Albert's wife, Mary, added:
"It's a bit different for us ladies. We tend to give e-bay a right hammering, and surf for pictures of big throbbing cocks."
Where tne internet will go from here is anybody's guess.
More as we get it.
