Cumbrian Massacre nutter, Derrick Bird, is still up to his dirty tricks in Heaven.
How he manged to gain entry to that exclusive location is still under investigation, but he has gone crazy again with a lightening bolt and tried to kill Casper the Friendly Ghost and his pet fox, Kevin.
An eyewitness reported seeing one of God's lightening bolts missing from it's cloud shelf and then seeing Derrick floating past on angel's wings with a "sly look in his eye".
Bird had a license from the council for using a lightening bolt, but whether or not this applied in Heaven is debatable.
Casper had a lucky escape.
If he hadn't been a ghost - and translucent - the lightening bolt could have done some real damage.
Kevin the Fox - who is an animal, and therefore doesn't have as strong a soul as human beings or cartoon characters - lost an eye.
Some people are claiming Bird went psycho because of tax issues - namely large sums owed to the Devil during his stay.
"That chap is bastard...but I'm friendly, so I'll still love him if I come across him later in the street", said Casper today.
A few years back, Adolf Hitler used a fake I.D. to get into Heaven and tried to kill Elvis and James Brown for making "N*gger music".
Afterwards, God and his gate keeper Saint Peter clamped down hard on any trespassers - which lead to many nice people being mistakenly sent to Hell for eternity by accident.
Derrick Bird - who has a stupid name, by the way - is currently being held in an isolation cloud where he awaits a trial by the big man with the long beard. Yes, thats right, Rasputin.
