British Offshore Banking Facility Springs Leak, Money Everywhere

Funny story written by Charpa93

Friday, 4 June 2010

image for British Offshore Banking Facility Springs Leak, Money Everywhere
This No Good for British, Papasan

Hong Kong - It seems British conglomerates are having their fair share of problems these days with uber expensive leaks. There appears to be no end in sight to the BP oil spill off the southern coast of the United States which has now reached catastrophic proportions. Millions of gallons of oil continue to spill into the Gulf of Mexico endangering sea and animal life, as well as destroying wetlands and coastlines from Louisiana to Florida.

Now, news out of China states that the world's largest offshore banking facility has sprung a leak a mile or so off the coast of Hong Kong, spewing billions of Hong Kong dollars into the South China Sea.

"While the coins are sinking fast, the paper money just floats on top of the water and is becoming a nuisance to birds who grab it up and try to eat it, as well as sea life trying to swallow it. In addition, the dollars are moving closer to the shoreline and getting tangled in fishing nets and junk rudders," said one junk charter captain. "It has us extremely worried."

Citizens of Hong Kong are wondering when the bank might step up to the plate and find a way to keep the money from flowing so freely from their offshore banks. "There is just so much of it," claims one fisherman, "it is difficult to haul in my catfish without getting a wad of money in my net. My catches are becoming smaller and smaller, and now I am worried about what to do with all the money I am pulling up."

The British banking firm responsible for the eruption of cash from its offshore banking facilities continues to promise a quick resolution to the problem, but as of yet, have been unable to stem the flow. Said one bank official, "We are hoping that the oil disaster in the Gulf of Mexico will be such that the profits of that British company begin to decline and therefore directly affect the flow of money that comes out of our offshore banking facility. We are watching developments very closely."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more