Cameron left reeling by shattering revelation

Funny story written by Duff

Sunday, 9 May 2010

image for Cameron left reeling by shattering revelation
Artist's impression of how Piers & George may have looked a while ago

Prime Minister in waiting, David Cameron, is facing one of the toughest decisions of his short political career, and that's before he even gets his feet under the table at No.10. Unbelievably he is having to wrestle with the possibility that he may have to sack a leading member of his soon-to-be-formed cabinet, before they've even been offered the post!

Sources close to the Tory Leader say that he has been left reeling by news that bookies favourite to become Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, is in fact the brother of Piers Morgan. The shattering news for the Conservatives came to light as a result of information unearthed for an episode of BBC's popular genealogy show 'Who do you think you are? Preliminary research on the show's subject, Morgan, led to documents being discovered that prove beyond all doubt that the two are identical twins who were separated at birth.

Professor of genealogy, Rudolph Schmit, a researcher on the programme comments. "Once we discovered the documentation so many things fell into place all at once. The shared traits were obvious. There and then we began to understand why two people in the media spotlight, but who were from seemingly different families, could be equally smug and smarmy. The answer was simple once we made our discovery. It was like a light going on"

Political commentators say that now the information is in the public domain, Mr Cameron will have to act swiftly before untold damage is done to his fledgling administration. Focus groups and party advisors had cautioned that Mr Osborne was quite a despised figure and caused nausea in a large section of the population. This was already threatening his political future, but now with a direct link to Morgan proven many believe that his position is becoming untenable, and it's understood that he is coming under considerable pressure to fall on his sword and make David Cameron's decision easier.

Piers Morgan has issued a denial and has made it known to the BBC that he now wishes to withdraw from participation in the show. However he has stopped short of taking legal action and this is being seen as an admission of guilt on his part. The consensus among both TV an political pundits now being that the future of both men looks to be fairly bleak.

PR guru, Max Clifford, commented. "Even I can't see a way to put a positive spin on this for either of them. The extra smugness and smarminess factor that this revelation brings to both, when added to the already existing accumulated high levels, simply makes it impossible to overcome. I honestly believe that the only course of action open to George and Piers is that they retire gracefully with as little fuss as possible"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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