Not content with reeling beneath a malevolent cloud of volcanic ash, besieged Brits are now under the savage onslaught of malevolent baby-buggies.
Following a successful damages claim lodged against a leading baby-buggy manufacturer involving a child losing a finger, Brits have been warned to be on the look out for the 'evil' and potentially lethal baby buggies.
Single mother of 12, Hannah Doughbrain(29) of Hull told us:
"I blamed meself for years over little Kleenex losing his fingertip as I folded the buggy up. I thought it were my fault, because I were a bit pissed after a lunchtime drinking session down the pub, but when I contacted Grubb and Street, the injury lawyers, they said there might be a few quid in it for me. Result!"
Ralph McLaren, a baby buggy expert told us:
"I'm gutted by this decision. The buggies in question have a hinged mechanism, to enable the user to fold them up to take in the car, or on the bus or train. Hinges, by their very nature are designed to close, and sticking body parts in closing hinges can obviously result in injury. Users only have to make their children stand back as they fold the buggies, and hey presto! No problem. I mean, it's not fucking rocket science is it."
More as we get it.
