A devastating e-mail has been leaked from Labour Party HQ, which shows the party demanding that their female MP's do "whatever it takes" to ensure re-election.
The suggestion that this policy existed was first raised earlier this week.
In June 2009, Caroline Flint resigned from the Cabinet, claiming she was only there as "female window dressing".
Last Monday saw her in her Don Valley constituency moaning "My seat, my seat. Won't you help me hold my seat?", whilst writhing round a silver pole dressed in heels, fish-nets and a short skirt.
Several elderly voters in the town of Rossington needed to be revived by having a sit down and a nice cup of tea.
When confronted with the email, the Labour Party admitted its existence.
But they insisted that it was totally coincidental that a vomiting bug hit Salford when Hazel Blears tried the same stunt.
