Has Labour Gone Pig Stupid?

Written by Stephen J.Morgan

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

After being forced to hastily apologize to a voter for calling her a bigot, UK Prime Minister, Gordon Brown now says that, in fact, he called her "pigoted" and not "bigoted." The reason he said was that, when he was talking to her on the campaign trail, he mentioned that Peppa Pig had not turned up to support the public launch of a Labour campaign that same day, and the woman then allegedly replied "don't let that fat, ugly, dirty, stinking Porker get you down, Browny boy." Brown said he thought she was going a bit too far and it provoked his comment.

Meanwhile, however, things have taken a new turn since Peppa Pig has just revealed that the true reason she didn't turn up today was because Gordon Brown refused to jump around in muddy puddles with her (her favorite pastime). She said that she had initially decided to vote "Brown" for mud, but she was now hesitating and thinking of switching to the Greens due to the rapid decrease in puddles this winter.

In an attempt to jump on to the bandwagon, both Conservatives and Liberals handed out pork scratchings on the campaign trail and claimed that Labour has had its head in the Peppa trough for too long. They said they would not stand for anymore pork barreling. Obama reminded Brown "You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig,"

The Labour establishment has been thrown into confusion by all this, as the "Piggy vote" is crucial to bringing home the bacon on election day. Left wingers in the party have seized on the crisis by demanding that Labour reverses its opposition to mixed marriages with farm animals, which may help the party in farming areas. Across the puddle in the US, activists in Appalachia and the Ozarks are said to be watching developments with keen interest.

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals." Winston Churchill

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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