The volcano dust emanating from the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano in Iceland is having a distinct and direct effect on the already-struggling UK tourism industry, it has been claimed.
The troublesome volcano has wreaked havoc with air travel all over Europe this week by spewing forth from its subterranean belly ghastly amounts of acrid black smoke and ash.
Flights have been suspended until further notice, but whilst that news would ordinarily warm the cockles of the hearts of UK hoteliers and guest house proprietors, they too have found that prospective funseekers have elected to stay away from Britain's seaside resorts amid fears of catching lethal doses of radiation sickness from the ash.
Mr Raymond Tidemark, the general manager of the Oil Slick Hotel in Clacton-on-Sea, said:
"A disaster such as this one should be good news for us, with the European tourism industry on its knees, but folks have snubbed us as well. Bastards."
George Snout, who runs donkey rides near to Blackpool's Golden Mile, told us:
"The donkeys are all saddled up, but the kids just aren't coming. It's either the volcano dust, or the fact that the animals stink of fusty shite."
