Shock: Hitler Found In Small English Village

Written by Nick Hobbs

Friday, 16 April 2010

image for Shock: Hitler Found In Small English Village
Is it a bird, is it Hitler, NO!! It's a muffin...

Trepidation was palpable in a small village cafe this morning, when local resident Rufus Digby found what appeared to be Adolf Hitlers image in a blackberry muffin.

"I could not believe it," cried Mr Digby, 65 of Upper Thatch, "I took a sip of my morning coffee, two sugars, milk in first, and went for a chomp on my muffin and there, staring back at me with evil blackberry beady eyes, was the Fuhrer."

Kate Upshore, owner of The Bellend Cafe and Keycutting Emporium, told us "we bake around 60 fresh muffins a day, but we've never had anything like this."

"Oh, sure, we've had 30 or so Jesus' and a few John Lennons, we even once had a pretty scary looking Dame Edna Everage in an omlette, but never an evil presence like Hitler," she parped.

"Face Apparition Psychosis is becoming ever more virulent," we were told by Dr Dickus Von Trier, head of Consistently Unappatising Muffins (C.U.M), the group responsible for researching food based face recognition, "it's all down to new baking technology and heat retention."

"Another possibility is the oven in which the muffin was baked in could very well be haunted with Hitlers ghost," he continued.

"I think it looked more like Vic Reeves," said an elderly gent, passing by at the time of writing. Silly old duffer.

The muffin has been donated to the U.K division of the Nazi party, and is due to be taken on a whilrwind bus tour of the Midlands later this week, to help raise awareness of the plight of the Nazi in modern Britain.

What do you think? See our attached photo, a muffin Hitler or just a muffin? You decide...

More as we bake it..

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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