1 Don't mention Margaret Thatcher
2 Don't mention Nigel Lawson
3 Don't mention Norman "rottweiler" Tebbit
4 Don't admit Maggie raped you when you were 12
5 Don't admit rottweiler held you down while Maggie raped you
6 Don't admit you enjoyed it
7 Don't say, I did not have sex with that woman
8 Don't mention the Common Market
9 Don't admit you know where Europe is
10 Don't mention the economy, stupid
11 Don't say you have no experience of high office
12 Don't admit that have a Scottish sounding name
13 Deny your great grandfathers Scottish birth certificate Brown is waving at you
14 Don't admit that you voted for the war
15 Don't admit that you have shares in armament companies
16 Don't admit that you have no policies
17 Don't admit that you don't know what a policy really is
18 Don't admit you give speeches without notes because you cannot read
19 Don't admit that writing is difficult as well
20 Don't wear your Old Etonian tie or confess that you were Boris Johnsons fag*** at Eton
but I do like my piccy on every page of thespoof.com wheeezeeeeeeeeer
*** look it up on Wikipedia, I can't be arsed explaining