Baby-battering Man of Mystery Jon Venables has successfully undergone a 13th change of identity in as many weeks, as the probation service attempt to keep him safe from vigilante attacks.
However, despite avoiding the pitchfork-brandishing masses, it appears the procedures have had an unanticipated side-effect, in that he has no idea who he is himself.
I tracked him down, wandering aimlessly through a long-abandoned branch of Rumbelows in Oldham town centre. Looking visibly distressed, all he could manage was to repeatedly point at different objects and soundlessly mouth "Is that me?".
All this reporter could reply with was:
"Well unless you're a slightly worn carpet sample or a poster of Wham circa 1985, then f*** no, fella... it's not."
