London - (Stalkers): Every single Ashley phone call, text message, credit and debit card transaction has been secretly monitored since 2008.
"She even got them to bug his GayStation, X-FactaBox, laptop and high-tech electronic toothbrush!" sources close to Lockheart & Pittstop private investigators commented today.
"All those hush-hush Chelsea offshore accounts that stash away annual player bonuses, corporate entertainment cards that hide illicit away-game nooky, pre-paid electronic casino chips...
"Mrs Cole's got him by the short 'n' curlies!"
Apparently Cheryl got the private eye bugging bug soon after mother Joan moved into the couple's matrimonial home and 'offered to help' in nuptial communication between the Coles.
A bloke who once sat next to Joan Callaghan's cleaning woman in a Wigan pub circa 2009 said today:
"B****ing hell!"
Divorce lawyers Shyster & Bellhop are rubbing their hands with glee.
