Nessynappers continue to suffer

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Sunday, 14 March 2010

image for Nessynappers continue to suffer
Not the 'stocks' Subo fanatics meant

Nessynappers continue to suffer after having been 'entertained' by Billy Connoly for 24 hours. Susan Boyle herself visited the women but was ordered not to speak, or sing. Susan was asked to merely stand in front of them, out of arms reach and, every 5 minutes she was to do her wiggle.

The women fell to their knees shouting, 'We love you Susan. Please say you love us too. Please, please, pretty please with a cherry on top.'

Every so often one would yell, "Och aye Susan. Haggis, Monarch of the Glen, kilts, Celtic, Rangers. Heather. By Yon Bonny Banks." Seemingly the only Scottish she knew.

Susan stood in silence. A wry smile on her face.

Susan's visit lasted an hour, costing Prison Services six hundred thousand quid. The cheque was made payable to "The David Beckham Speech Enhancement Foundation For Speech Impaired Football Players".

This charity is said to be close to Susan's heart and accepts, into its programmes, footballers from England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

It's noted that the Welsh players tend to stay at the facility twice as long as the players from England, Ireland and Scotland. This is as a direct result of them being so bloody arrogant, often refusing to speak English, resulting in making the staff's jobs more difficult. Staff are reported as saying they are unable to complete assessments as quickly on these stubborn prats.

As to the Subo Fanatics. They remain behind bars. Anxiously biting their fingernails wondering what the NEXT punishment will be. More as this story unfolds.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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