Nessy back in the Loch

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Friday, 12 March 2010

image for Nessy back in the Loch

Much to the relief of Nessy followers, Nessy has been returned to the Loch - Nessy's Minder, Dennis Waterman, his pals Allun and James, successfully worked towards getting Nessy returned.

An added bonus, the police apprehended a group of American ladies wearing red scarves and red knickers. The police assured the public that they did not act unprofessionally in order to discover the red knickers. The women were all wearing trousers and wore the red knickers over top on the outside for all to see.

When interviewed about the Nessynapping, Dennis said that the women were an 'easy cop'. He merely phoned the telephone number he had been - 666 666 6660 given and arranged a rendezvous at a local church.

He hadn't been able to get Susan Boyle's autograph as she was out of the country so Allun had forged her signature whilst James photoshopped a picture of Dennis receiving the autograph from Susan herself.

They admitted that they were a little concerned that they hadn't initially noticed a small spaceship overhead, but were assured by someone from Blackburn, that the American fanatics would take this as an added bonus as many of them were space cadets themselves.

Police were waiting outside the church to arrest the women as they exited.

On being told of Nessy's whereabouts, zookeepers headed for the cave where the fanatics had been living. The cave was easily located. It was painted red and the American Flag flew on a pole outside, whilst the theme tune from Monarch of the Glen (thung by Dennith Waterman) blasted from the inside.

Keepers managed to load Nessy into a waiting container, thereafter returning him safely to the Loch. First the keepers had to remove a large red plastic scarf from around his neck, much to the relief of Nessy himself who wept with relief.

Police say the women will be dealt with severely for messing with the Scottish Legend. Another Scottish legend, Billy Connolly, has volunteered to sit outside their cell, serenading the women and telling them all the jokes he can remember, no holds barred, for the duration of their incarcaration.

The women were led away weeping. On hearing of the punishment to be bestowed upon them, they fell to their knees and started praying. Some went into hysterics but there is to be no mercy shown.

Their red scarves were taken away from them as a 'safety precaution'.......

More on this story as it progresses.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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