Monday's Ides of March New Moon Shocker

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 13 March 2010

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Beware the Ides of March!

London - (Prudence/Jurisprudence Mess): The magnificent Sun/Moon/Mercury/Uranus conjunction at 25 degrees Pisces takes place on the historic day that disgusted Romans sent a clear message to tyrannical despot Gaius Julius Gorgon Brown Caesar.

A sneak preview courtesy of NATO psychics sees the day begin with the shocking announcement that Hellfire Club madam Queen Elizabeth has been discovered auto-erratically asphyxiated in a solo euthanasia game.

The news causes a major mechanical failure in Prince Philip's pacemaker causing a fatal heart attack while he's sitting on the Buckingham Palace bog.

Dozens of Cash-for-Honours cops then storm 10 Drowning Street and arrest HM's Prime Monster Ratzinger son and all his IRA cabinet.

Meanwhile down the road at Connaught Square Cherie and Tony are shackled by a Special Branch raid and dragged kicking and screaming to a HMP Belmarsh hospitality suite.

At Clarence House Prince Charles and his entire faux family are arrested by military police and sectioned at an army garrison maximum security compound in the Tower of London.

Other minor 'royals' and hundreds of MPs, Chinese bank officials, celebs and civil servants are rounded up and charged with conspiracy.

By the end of the day the Footsie 100 has plunged 5,000 points and the US ambassador to London Louis Susman charged with running a Madoffesque ponzi scam.

Farces sweetheart Dame Vera Lynn is stark raving bonkers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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