When local woman Tina Trollop, 19, married octogenarian bachelor Johnny Wad, 89, most locals thought that the old timer had at long last found true love and that they would all live happily ever after on his monkey plantation in south Norwich.
But that belief was shattered as it was revealed that Trollop was nothing but a monkey-grabbing bitch.
Wad has filed for divorce after discovering that his new bride was only after him for his monkey, Mr. BooBoo.
"I should have known when we first met at the zoo. She was erotically eating a banana and winding a hurdy-gurdy. She said she was just trying to entertain the baboons but now that I've got to thinking about it I presume she was just trying to get those poor monkey's to dance for her. I'm sure I heard her crying out 'Dance, Monkey! Dance!' as soon as my back was turned", said a despondent Mr. Wad yesterday.
Wad and Trollop's romance was swift, and she soon moved into MonkeyWorld, his huge monkey complex. Her eyes lit up as she got to meet the original Cheetah from Tarzan, Wacko Jacko's beloved Bubbles and that evil-looking monkey from Pirates of the Caribbean. But it was Wad's close friend Mr. BooBoo the baboon that really took her fancy.
"She cheated on me with him. She ill-used him. Had him dancing about in a little waistcoat and fez on the common streets. I can never look him in the big red arse again", sobbed Mr. Wad.