The government has today announced war on the upper and middle classes. In an attempt to win over its traditional voters Gordon Brown has ordered the army to surround all the royal residences and to shoot anyone carrying a sceptre Furthermore typical middle class areas such as Surbiton and Richmond in London will be turned into enclaves.
Residence in these areas wishing to leave will have to prove they are not middle class or are willing to renounce their middle class roots. Special academies will be set up to re-educate people into behaving working class. A working class tsar will be appointed shortly - it is unlikely to be Hilary Benn.
Joining a Union, shopping at Lidl, fly-tipping and shouting really loudly at your neighbours to turn their effing telly down will all be actively encouraged by the government. Cecil Smythe a spokesperson for the middle classes has urged defiance. "We will not stand for this. Our persecution of the working classes has made this country what what what it is today"