Tony Blair to be tried for war crimes at The Hague

Funny story written by matwil

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

image for Tony Blair to be tried for war crimes at The Hague
Odd how pics of the war criminal George H. Bush are so hard to find

Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair is to be tried for war crimes and crimes against humanity, along with George H. Bush, at The Hague in The Netherlands.

The pair lied about Iraq - ruled democratically by the democratically-elected president Saddam Hussein - having 'weapons of mass destruction', despite them both being leaders of nations that have such weapons themselves, and used those lies to give themselves an excuse for invading and then practically destroying that country, killing at least 125,000 civilians in the process.

'This was a dreadful war crime', European Court of Shutting The Stable Door chief executive Kloset Naazi van der Blanche said, ' though it's kind of ironic for the very people who invented apartheid and massively supported the Nazis sitting here in Den Haag making judgements about others. But that doesn't take away from the facts that Blair and Bush are war criminals, and a disgrace to the Western world.'

Mr. Blair had this to say about the accusations. 'Look, chaps, um, haha, I mean ... as long as I do my idiot upper class twit impression, that will take attention away from me being jointly, er, responsible for the mass murder of hundreds of thousands in Iraq, won't it? And doing criminal property deals, and generally making the United Kingdom a complete embarrassment, a poodle doing what George 'Eichmann' Bush told me to do.'

But legendary Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal had no sympathy for Mr. Blair. 'If it takes years, decades, even centuries, the decent people of this world will hunt down ALL war criminals and try them, there's no escape for them. Blair, Bush, Milosevic, Adams, Paisley, Cortes, Hitler, Stalin and Amin - every one of them, even Simon Peres, has no safety from justice. No wonder Blair sweats like a pig! He knows that time is catching up with him.'

Former American President George H. Bush who, as former CIA director planned the entire invasion of not only Iraq but also of Kuwait by ordering Saddam to 'invade' it, denied that he was a war criminal.

'Er', he said, emulating Tony Blair's feeble attempts at speaking. The people of the USA and UK have very long memories, and the chances of Bush and Blair getting off with what they have done are as about as likely as the Swiss Navy invading Germany.

Hope you're sleeping well at night, Tony Blair and George Herbert Bush. Unlike the millions of Palestinians you have arranged a life of misery for, and the mess you've turned Iraq into. Two disgraceful politicians for the price of one. Two war criminals that the decent British and American people should try themselves, for disgracing the United Kingdom and the United States of America.

Oh well, at least we still have golfing stars to look up to. Ahem.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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