London - (Blackshirts): Archivists and the Pubic Records Orifice have stumbled on a bombshell.
A routine rummage in Hellfire Club classified files has unearthed a stinker.
The woman who has been impersonating Queen Elizabeth II is really called Barbara Hitler and her grandma, actress Lily Langtry, was royal scrubber-in-chief to King Edward VII.
"We thought Mrs Thatcher had shredded all thse KGB files," chief archivist Sir Arthur Wet-Gusset said today.
"But clearly the old girl was outmanuevered by Special Branch."
The files show that in 1874 Langtry shagged a US Skull and Bonesman and soon gave birth to a baby boy.
That child became King Kong movie scriptwriter prolific Edgar Wallace, later reincarnbated as the Fuherer Adolf Hitler.
One of his accomplishments was to produce twin daughters, Helen and Barbara, who were dead ringers for the young Princess Elizabeth.
And the 1940 bombing blitz took care of the UK royal family whose King George VI, wife queen Elizabeth and elder daughter all perished in the bombing.
This week's newly discovered royal papers show it was Helen Hitler who became the Princess Elizabeth shoo-in, marrying a relative of Rasputin who happened to look like the young Greek Prince Philip.
In 1986 her Majesty Helen Hitler had a fatal heart attack and was replaced by UK prime Monster Margaret Thatcher with her dafter fascist twin Barbara, real-life mother of the Yorkshire Ripper, John Sergeant and daftass wobbly thighed crooner Susan Boyle.
Prince Charles is Raine Spencer's brat by Robert Maxwell.