Glenn Beck Has Now Offended The Good People Of Britain

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

image for Glenn Beck Has Now Offended The Good People Of Britain
The room at The Spanish Armada Motel where Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Beck stayed during their recent visit to London.

LONDON - The BBC is reporting that one of England's largest supermarket chains has just announced that it is removing all of its ads from The Glenn Beck Show.

A spokesperson for the huge grocer Gordon Castleshire stated that Beck's anti-Obama comments have gotten progressively worse.

The British supermarket chain reports that they have received close to two million emails, text messages, and phone calls from irate Britishers demanding that Beck's bigoted rantings be curtailed (stop*ed).

The loose-lipped diatribes and mean-spirited spoutings are to the point where racist words like watermelon, chicken wing, Ripple Wine, NBA Basketball, Kanye West, and bling-bling are being used quite often.

Castleshire said that this Beck chap (fel*a) really thinks that he can just go around blabbing hideously intoxicated harangues and uttering whatever baseless blubberings and way-out-of-line caustic remarks come out of his redneck mouth.

Glenn Beck's sophomoric remarks have already caused 30 of his 33 American advertising sponsors to drop their ads from his show. And amazingly his employer has not so much as even remotely reprimanded him.

One very well respected media critic, Katsuragi Kurasawa, of Tokyo's Channel 13.2 News wondered if maybe Beck has intimate photos of some of his bosses in compromising positions with lap dancers, strumpets or maybe even ugly sheep.

Beck has even gone as far as to refer to President Obama as a Nazi, which has infuriated some of Germany's and Argentina's leftover Nazis.

And Becky, as his wife calls him, has even said that the president hates whites, which is amazing since the president is afterall half white. So does that then mean that President Obama hates half of himself, and if so, which half?

Cal Colfax, the White House press secretary has called for Glenn Beck to be removed from the airwaves before he says something that will get his bu*t (a*s) fined and even worse terminated or even thrown in jail.

An unnamed White House source noted that the White House has already instructed the Internal Revenue Service to go through Mr. Beck's income tax returns with a fine tooth comb.

And the source said that once the IRS starts going through income tax returns with a fine tooth comb, or even with a fine bristle brush, the folks will find something.

Glenn Beck's wife has apparently pleaded with her 'big mouth' husband that he needs to tone down his anti-Obama rhetoric.

She said that the neighbors have all stopped talking to her and the grocery sackers at the grocery store are refusing to sack her groceries.

She even said that one day last week she went into a pedicure shop to have her toenails pedicured and the pedicurist told her, "Yu no come in here, yu leave shop now and tell rousy roose-ripped husband he one big friggin assh*le. Thank you. Have a rice day."

When Beck was told that Queen Elizabeth watches his show he got all excited and replied that he was honored. When told that she actually hates it because he is such a punk he became defensive.

"The Queen called me a punk?" He asked. When informed that she had indeed, he then said that Queen Elizabeth is so old there are rumors circulating throughout the United Kingdom that she once went out with Winston Churchill's father, Basil Churchill.

Beck added that with what Q-Lady has spent on all of her thousands of silly ass looking hats, she could have fed all of the hungry kids of Ethiopia for 47 years, three meals a day, including a midnight snack of jungle vine cookies.

MGM, Universal, Warner Brothers, and 20th Century Fox have all said that they do not have any plans whatsoever on making a motion picture on the life of Glenn Beck.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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