Adolf 'Killer' Hitler, leader of the Nazi's and all round bad egg has been found alive and well in BNP leader Nick Griffin's attic.
"I couldn't believe it, you coulda knocked me down with a feather," said Mr.Griffin, cousin of Peter, star of the Family Guy cartoon. "I only went up there to put some old pamphlets away. Moved a box or two and there he was. Looked a bit hungry and his eyes took a while to adjust to the light."
Mr Hitler had been living off bait that had been put on various mouse traps, and was drinking from the emersion tank.
Adolf was thought to have shot himself in a bunker at the end of the second world war, but it seems in a twist of fate he managed to get away and hitched a lift by donkey and cart to a nazi safehouse in Calais. From there he swam the English channel and wound up in Wigan and the home of the future leader of the BNP.
When asked what the future holds for Mr Hitler, Griffin is keeping it close to his chest. "I'll probably do a tour with him, maybe drum up some business for the BNP. Who knows?"
Wigan Borough Council has stated that because Adolf has been living at the address for more than twelve years, Mr Griffin will be unable to evict him if he so desired due to squatters rights. They will however be chasing Mr.Griffin for back dated Council Tax as Griffin has always maintained single persons residency.
The government has refused to comment, but a statement is expected shortly. The fact remains that Mr.Hitler has to take account for a few bad decisions during WWII. This reporter believes he should at least face an enquiry meeting at the very least, if not a war crimes investigation.