Sitting On De Fence Of The Realm: An Official Hystery Of M15

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 5 October 2009

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George Bush Senior (seen here in official KGB getup) was the USSR's greatest ass

London - (Smoke 'N' Mirrors): A new book published this week has archived some spectacular clangers by UK security service MI5.

Sitting On De Fence of The Realm by Rear Admiral (Rtd) Sir Gusset Baloochie chronicles fifty years of KGB catastrophe and disaster.

The publication has sent tremors through the Heinrich Himmler wing of the Conservative Party - despite ostensibly sitting pretty at their annual conference in Manchester this week.

Some of the terrifying disclosures include the horrendous example of 1975 when George Bush Senior was planning his second military coup d'etat attempt of the UK...but a freak summer storm literally saved the nation.

Apparently up to 200 Soviet-trained militia were smuggled into London armed with an atomic bomb.

They arrived in a Stasi-hired Polish sauerkraut lorry and hid out in a disused London Underground railway tunnel, waiting for the signal to blow up Downing Street.

That summer the daily temperature averaged a steamy 30 degrees centigrade.

And a record six month drought brought the standpipes out onto London streets as well as much of the capital to its knees.

Then just hours ahead of the signal to detonate the device a massive thunderstorm struck the strategic part of London where the terrorists were holed up.

Within fifteen minutes some six inches of rainfall dropped on an extremely localised area, overwhelming the drains and sewers, causing massive underground landfall and rapidly filling the disused subterranean tunnel with millions of gallons of water.

Then in 1992 a European Water Conservation Year handout saw Thames Water's London Ring Main project stumble on the grisly liquid mausoleum.

Some 180 bodies were recovered after specialist army divers trawled the toxic subterranean soup.

Three years later a local pub inscribed one of its walls with a high water mark plus details of the freak storm that briefly turned that part of London into a macabre lagoon.

Ex-MI5 CEO Dame Stella Rimington always suspected Sir Richard Dearlove of being up to no good.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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