Scottish Government Abolished - Difference Not Noticeable

Funny story written by Blazing Saddle

Thursday, 3 September 2009

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"Your country doesn't need you!" - US advice to Scottish government

129 extra unemployed - that's about the measure of the difference made by the abolition of the Edinburgh talking shop, the Scottish parliament.

Except of course, if you read newspapers or attend to broadcast news media, in which case you will have noticed a lessening of the fervid National Socialism that used to pass for Scottish National Party policy and a blessed silence from the political pundits who used to make a living by encouraging the chattering classes.

A MORI poll asked people departing from the Edinburgh Tattoo - "Can you honestly say that you will miss the rantings of Alex Salmond" - and 92% of those responding said - "Look pal, I've just had a Union Jack tattooed on my left buttock, why are you asking me"?

It is of course, thanks to the efforts of Colonel Gadaffi, Libyan despot and the Lockerbie Bomber's biggest fan, that the Scottish devolved government is no more.

A letter from Gadaffi to US Secretary of State Hilllllary Clinton exposing the machinations of Lord Mangelson, Business Secretary and Minister With A Finger In Every Pie resulted in a repeat of the Highland Clearances with the result that all the former politicians are now scraping a living by gathering cockles and knitting Fair Isle jumpers out of seaweed on the West coast.

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has asked that the Scottish regalia (Crown Jewels) be returned to the Tower of London for safe keeping.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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