Gordon brown invited journalists to his garden this week where he held court, from his seat on the garden fence. He bravely claimed, several days after everybody else, to have been repulsed over the scenes of celebration in Tripoli, following the arrival of Ali al-Megrahi and following his administration's recent chat about it in Gadaffi's Garden which 'was abundant with bougainvillea'.
He reassured the gathered press that he fully understood the extent of public feeling and that he had deleted Colnel Gadaffi's name from the 'Medal of Honour' high score on his own PC.
When questioned on his opinion over the actual decision to release Ali al-Megrahi , the Prime Minister asserted with utter conviction that "I think his release was ri…wro…ri…wro..,.ri…wro…look at the starlings flying home for dusk"
Asked for further clarification over that statement he bent to pluck a flower and bravely sallied forth with further emphatic brinkmanship:
"I loved the decision…I loved it not…"
We asked how long he expected to be sitting on the fence considering Autumn was fast approaching, his response was once again decisive:
"Er…is that a puppy next door? Look at the cute puppy everybody".
When his interlocutors turned back to their mentor, he had disappeared. A chief whip informed the gathered press that No. 10 could no longer decide whether or not sitting on a fence was appropriate and reassured us the Prime Minister would eventually arrive at this conclusion when the creosote and greenfly conditions were right.