London, Monday. Celebrity chef, Nigella Lawson, has announced plans to open a chain of cancer clinics that double as four star restaurants where people can wine and dine while cancer sufferers endure the humiliation of chemo and radio-graphic treatment for their illness.
She explained that this essentially takes away the trauma for many people who attend these clinics with their unwell relatives or friends.
"Now you can de stress and enjoy a four course meal while your partner is fulfilling their medical obligations. Just imagine, beef terriyaki or truffles in a white wine sauce being served and you just imbibing a nice Bordeaux vintage" she explained.
Nigella hopes to roll out about seven of these clinics initially with plans drawn up to take the idea abroad, may be to Amreica. "This will open up a whole new idea in hospitality" Lawson added. "We could even broaden the canvass to such things as night clubs, cafes or even sex parlors".
The notion of going for a quick bonk while your dying relative is getting zapped by lasers is slightly silly however Nigella doesn't seem to wince at the possibility.
After all, she is the queen of middle class schmuck.