Buggy Whip Manufacturer Awarded Stimulus Money

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

image for Buggy Whip Manufacturer Awarded Stimulus Money
"Twice the horsepower!"

Washington DC: Chicago Buggy Whip (CBW) LLC has been awarded $50 billion in stimulus money by the Obama administration to restart the buggy whip industry.

Mr. A Corn the CEO of CBW LLC called a press conference after receiving notification that the check was in the mail. He said "Americans still need an efficient means of personal transportation in the coming era of controlling climate change. This means of transportation will be the horse and buggy, necessitating buggy whips and riding crops."

The legislation for this additional stimulus funding was pushed through Congress by a consortium of environmentalist groups, PETA, organic farmers and anti-free trade organizations. Thus, a self fulfilling prophesy has begun!

In the coming period between the years 2012-2050 the "Cap and Trade" legislation has mandated that there will be an 80% reduction in green house gasses. GMC and Chrysler will go out of business, cars will get smaller, Ford will eventually leave the USA and foreign cars will be kept out of the USA by high tariffs.

Declining domestic oil production and the high price of foreign oil will further stifle the gasoline engine automobile and petroleum base fertilizers. A need for more horse manure will be created as organic oat farming increases.

Due to a lack of adequate electrical power, as the USA can't use coal or nuclear power plants, electric cars will not be feasible. Solar, wind and biomass won't be able to totally meet domestic electricity demands and cars too.

However, many new jobs will created in horse drawn vehicle manufacturing, the sanitation business and for deodorant producers. The racing industry will be revitalized as the horse again spreads out through the 50 states. Horse breeders will prosper, under the watchful eye of PETA.

President Obama awoke, drenched in a cold sweat, to hear the birds chirping outside the White House windows.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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