Written by Steddyeddy

Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for A pedestrian is knocked down every 5 minutes on UK roads
New Nottinghamshire "run this way" pedestrian traffic sign

Research has today revealed that roads in the UK are equally as dangerous as the extremely dangerous UK drivers who use them.

Despite the deployment of revenue cameras every 100 metres on open roads, a pedestrian is still knocked down every five minutes.

The pedestrian who keeps getting knocked down every five minutes, Mr Arthur Knees of Grantham in Nottinghamshire, is now becoming very, very annoyed indeed.

He is threatening to take the entire driving population of the UK to the European Courts to claim compensation for being continually knocked down.

His daughter, Honour Knees, was less than sympathetic.

She said that it was Ok for her father to get annoyed at being knocked down every five minutes. "He doesn't realise how boring it is for teenagers to live in a place like Grantham, yet he never complains when I come home and tell him I've been knocked up every five minutes.

"Only when he gets knocked down does he take any action."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Roads, speed cameras




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
55 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more