Joanna Lumley Arrested In Nepal

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 27 July 2009

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Gurkhas today

Actress Joanna Lumley has been arrested by police after arriving in Nepal for a week-long visit.

Hundreds of protestors - among them scores of Gurkha veterans - gathered to voice their anger at the former Absolutely Fabulous star who was single-handedly responsible for the detention in the UK of several Gurkha fighting heroes.

On arrival at Tribhuvan International Airport in Kathmandu this morning, Ms Lumley was greeted by a crowd and police armed with automatic weapons, who quickly bundled her into a rickshaw and whisked her away to a police station in some foothills a thousand miles away.

Ms Lumley, whose father was a Gurkha regiment officer, fronted a campaign for UK settlement rights for Gurkhas, but the campaign didn't go down well in Nepal, where it was seen as 'forcible relocation of Nepal's supreme fighting forces'.

Many Gurkha officers spoke of their discontent and fear of living in places such as Swindon and Barnsley.

According to the AP news agency, Lumley greeted the crowd with the Gurkha battle cry "Ayo Gurkhali" in her Upper Class Twit accent.

They responded by throwing yak eggs.

Some of those who turned up to see her shouted:

"You are the devil" and "Fuck off, Patsy!"

The agency quoted Ms Lumley as saying:

"My friends of Nepal, I am your family coming to Nepal for the first time. I want to thank you so much."

They repeated the increasingly-popular:

"Fuck off, Patsy!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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