Joanna Lumley A Big Fan Of Gherkins

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

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Joanna Lumley, 71, the star of Absolutely Fabulous and further back, The New Avengers, met with Prime Minister Gordon Brown today, and later announced that she is one of Britain's biggest fans of gherkins.

Lumley, 71, told journalists outside 10 Downing Street, that:

"Gherkins are a small cucumber-type fruit. They are usually picked when 3 to 8 cm (1 to 3 in) in length and pickled in jars or cans with vinegar (often flavoured with herbs, particularly dill; hence, 'dill pickle') or brine to become a pickled cucumber."

She paused, and went on:

"The term 'gherkin' can also be used to refer to the West Indian Burr Gherkin (Cucumis anguria), a related plant species, originally West African, that was introduced to the West Indies, probably by the Portuguese. This 'true' or Burr Gherkin, or badunga, cannot interbreed with the 'true' cucumber (Cucumis sativus), which is the condiment vegetable now generally known as the gherkin or dill pickle. The West Indian Burr Gherkin is edible and may be pickled but must be picked when no longer than 4 cm (1.5 in) long, since it becomes bitter and spiny if allowed to grow larger.

"In spite of this," she said, "I love gherkins. In fact, they're absolutely fabulous!"

Lumley, 71, has been known to eat several whole gherkins during filming, leading AbFab co-star - and brains - Jennifer Saunders, to comment about her breath.

She told our reporter:

"She's disgusting. Belches like a docker. She's always got a gherkin in her handbag!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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