Unscrupulous fish 'n' chip shop owners are fooling customers who order the nations favourite dish. You may think that you are getting prime Atlantic caught cod in batter with your chips. No, it's cobblers!
To be more precise it is the Vietnamese River Cobbler. Frozen and imported, this fish is a much cheaper alternative to cod. But is it any good? Dick Phillpot of the Battered Fish Fanciers Association said "It's total shit. Cod flakes beautifully. The Vietnamese River Cobbler just disintegrates. And it tastes shit. This has got to end. The public are being swindled by their local chippy."
The Government is expected to rush through a bill. The Battered Fish Act is expected to set out in law just what type of fish should be sold and how it should be advertised. John Prescott was asked for a comment, unfortunately. "I am incandesently incandescent with angregious anger at the dubiscously deceitful manner with which fish vendoring is being conductified and I urge the Prime Minister to support the codicious meal which I have, on many occasions, enjoyed with Pauline. Vietnamese Cobblers should not be allowed entrification to Britain and I am seeking controlification measures to be introductified with immediate immediafication."
What should you do if your chippy is serving a load of cobblers? Report him. A phone number is available. Fishline: 0800 98981212