Medical experts today warned that Britain could be facing up to 100,000 cases of Murray fever a day by the weekend. Dr Andi Medix, the Government's Chief Medical Officer, said "People can become quite delusional, especially in the heat. This is similar to previous outbreaks of Henmanitis and the rarer Rusedski Rash, both of which claimed many lives."
It is believed that the entire nation could be at risk. If the illness is not treated by Sunday we could face an outbreak of Suebarker, a particularly nasty rash. This will be followed by Macenroeitis, where the patient becomes extremely angry. Henmanitis may also reappear along with the almost fatal Virginia Wadeiatis, a fungal infection which causes vomiting and diarreaha.
The only two known cures for this nasty illness. Roddick, an American product, is thought to lack sufficient strength if the virus is in an advanced state. If this fails then it will be down to the Federer Institute in Switzerland to defeat the illness.
Should the cures fail there could be outbreaks of 1966, a nasty illness which occurs every four years. Again victims become delusional and believe that they are on top of the world. Experts are also concerned that another virus may break out in 2012.
For now please stay indoors and avoid BBC, which is a known carrier of the virus.
