A local idiot, Billy Bump 42 of Sweetwater Street, today dug up an asparagus patch in the garden which his wife had carefully nurtured for 11 years. And put the asparagus on the compost heap.
"I didn't know it was asparagus," Bump told us. "I thought it was weeds. I was only trying to help. I just fancied getting into a bit of weeding after watching Alan Titchmarsh on the telly. I love Alan Titchmarsh, me. He's dead handy round the garden."
An exasperated Betty Bump, also 42, endured several other gardening disasters caused by her over exuberant spade wielding spouse.
"He's useless he is," she told us. "And not just in the garden either. Next time he goes out to work I'm going to pile all his clothes up on the patio and set fire to them."
More gardening goings-on as we get them.