Written by The Blunt Pencil

Thursday, 23 April 2009

image for Last UK Wheelbarrow Manufacturer Files for Bankruptcy!
Arthur Smegmaandsons demonstrating how a wheelbarrow works!

The recession has claimed yet another British manufacturing victim today.

The last remaining UK Wheelbarrow manufacturer; Smegma & Sons of Barrow-in-the-Shite up north have gone into receivership.

A spokesperson for the receivers; Wrott & Swindler asset strippers of repute, told this reporter "Sales in Barrows have slumped since the collapse of British banking". He went on to explain how during the boom years bankers and hedge fund managers were making so much money that they had to buy a new wheelbarrow every week just to take home their wages. It was not uncommon during the bonus payouts for city whizz-kids to have to buy up to 20 wheelbarrows, such was the size of their wad!

I asked the company owner; Arthur Smegma if there was any chance a buyer could be found, "well lad" he said, "it might look a bit grim at t' moment, but, we're hoping we can turn t' company around, we're just waiting for t' MP's at Westminster to decide how they pay their expenses for 2009, if they can pull it off there is every chance we'll get a big order from the additional allowances committee so the buggers can carry home their patio heaters and fish tanks"!

Indeed the administrators suggested wheelbarrow sales could boom if MP's were able to claim a second wheelbarrow allowance, in addition, they may be able to buy one for each home.


In our above report, we referred to the owner of Smegma & Sons as Arthur Smegma, we have been informed by his solicitor that the company owners name is in fact 'Arthur Smegmaandsons', and the he does not have any children at all!

Funny that innit?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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