Ronaldo denies £80million transfer to Real Madrid is for the money

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Friday, 12 June 2009

image for Ronaldo denies £80million transfer to Real Madrid is for the money
Ronaldo changes his name to McDonaldo to avoid adverse publicity

Football star Ronaldo has denied that his transfer from Manchester United to Real Madrid is all about money.

At a press conference earlier today he denied that the transfer was for no other reason than he wanted to go to Madrid to that he could enjoy the better weather and be nearer to his favourite building called Santander.

He went on to say that he doesn't care about the money, only about the cash, and that he has absolutely no interest whatsoever in fast cars, except for Ferraris, Bentleys and Lamborghinis. He said that he doesn't own any fancy watches, except for a diamond and gold Rolex, and a platinum Cartier and categorically denies that any of his 7 houses around the world have more than 20 bedrooms.

He also confirmed that his cut of the transfer fee is going straight to his favourite charity, the Ronaldo Pension Fund for Retired Footballers called Ronaldo.

He was upset that the public thought football was all about money. He said that his own football, a nice red Umbro one bought in a JJB closing-down sale, has absolutely no money of its own.

And he asked the public to remember that unlike NHS nurses on maybe £24,000 a year, who can keep working until they are 60 or even 65, capable of earning almost a million pounds during their 35-year career, he only has a short 15-year career at the top of his profession, where he is unlikely to earn more than about £5 or £6 million a year.

And then when he retires, all he can do is go on to manage a football team, write his autobiography and open supermarkets. All for only the smallest of six-figure fees to cover expenses.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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