Written by Robert W. Armijo

Thursday, 11 June 2009

image for After David Carradine's Death, Bangkok Police warn Men not to Answer this Singles ad
Answer this ad and you could have your chubby choked and chuffed, but it could be for the last time. Is it worth it?

Bangkok, Thailand - No matter how alluring this singles ad: "SAF Looking to Choke and Chuff your Chubby in a Bangkok Hotel Closet. Discretion Optional", Bangkok police are strongly advising men not to answer it. At least that is the warning they are issuing in a police bulletin to males in hopes that they will resist responding to any lonely heart ads from the classified section of the newspaper or Crag's List until the Carradine case is solved.

"We're giving the warning out of an abundance of caution," said Bangkok police investigating the mysterious death of David Carradine. "We know how hard it is for men and not all of them will pay heed to our warning, but it is all that we can do at this time to secure the public safety."

"I just don't know if I can resist such a tempting invitation," said a happily married man of ten years father of two children. "I mean the ad is intriguing. I mean it has me thinking that just maybe there is something to this choking yourself and tying up your frank and beans with a rope."

Although not confirmed by Bangkok police, it is believed that David Carradine was not alone when he died but that he had some assistance at the time of his death.

"All we have is circumstantial evidence like the position that the alleged victim was found. The ornamental manner in which not only the ropes that bound Mr. Carradine's hands and feet were tied, but his [junk] as well," said Bangkok police.

Currently, Bangkok police are looking for anyone with experience in animal balloon making.

"You know like the ones clowns and magicians make at a kid's birthday party or at the park," said Bangkok police. Adding a moment later, "Or quite possibly a pretzel maker…you get our point."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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