David Carradine's Death Increases Rope Sales At Adult Shops.

Funny story written by Ed E. Druckman

Friday, 5 June 2009


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(Los Angeles-CA) As more facts emerge from the Bangkok medical examiner's office regarding the death of "Kung Fu" and "Kill Bill" star David Carradine, a trend is developing at adult shops in both New York and Los Angeles. The sale of nylon rope has doubled since the actor's death Thursday in a Bangkok luxury hotel. Carradine's unclothed body was found hanging in a closet with a nylon rope tied around his neck.

Josh Saxx, owner of "Men on Melrose", a gay adult store in Los Angeles noticed the trend immediately. "I had people coming in the store that just used to be into your average trip, you know, vibrating thermometers, sandpaper, that type of thing. Then, even before I knew about the details of the Carradine thing, I had these customers coming in asking for rope, nylon rope." When asked how he reacted, Saxx was quick to respond. "My goal is meet the needs of my customers. So I ordered the rope." Asked if he had any concerns about supplying this, Saxx was direct, "lack of return business."

The fear is that the increased rope sales may be due to the increased practice of auto-erotic asphyxiation, from which Carradine may have died, where oxygen is cut-off to the brain during sexual arousal resulting in a form of giddiness and euphoria, similar to alcohol or drug intoxication, that enhances the sexual experience…or kills you.

And the purchase of rope seems to be increasing in the heterosexual community as well judging from Milt "Rock" Salt, who owns "The Doughnut and Pickle", an adult shop in New York City's West Village. "It's a trend for sure," said Salt. "I have these traditional customers who where into edible shower clogs, the matching Hitler and Eva Braun bondage kit who are now asking for rope." When asked if he believed the rope was for the purpose of auto-erotic asphyxia, Salt was convinced. "One couple asked me after they bought it, 'Would you mind if we used your closet for, like ten minutes?'"

This trend has brought out a surprising critic, none other than "Hustler" publisher Larry Flynt. "Look I've had lots of sex, and, at times, it can get boring. But I've never said to myself, 'Hey maybe this time I should hang myself"; and you know why? Not because it might not be a rush, but if I die and they find me, am I going to be embarrassed. Flynt then went on to say "this in no way means I hold the late David Carradine in lower regard. Believe me when I say that this was one of the biggest guys in the business, and I mean that."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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