Joanna Lumley to be made dame

Funny story written by EXECUTIVE

Thursday, 11 June 2009

A government spokesman - his face set in a permanent smile - announced to a crowded press conference today that Joanna Lumley is to be created a dame.

He went on to explain "Look - if you are going to be humiliated into a total reversal of a policy that was morally wrong from the start - and to have that humiliation seen live by millions of television viewers around the world - then who better to do it than the incredibly saintly Ms Lumley. Gordon is so grateful he has decided to cash in by trying to salvage a scrap of credibility for his disgraced and shameful government by distracting as many gullible people as possible".

Ms Lumley will now be known as "Dame Lumley of Charro" after a rather good television film she made.

Ms Lumley herself - speaking from inside her gracious and magnificent home in rural Worcestershire - Lumley Towers - said she was thrilled to be honoured in such a blatently obvious way. It would however not deflect any of her determination to champion causes she felt were just.

She also used the opportunity to publicise her latest crusade for the freedom of all Gurkha type animals in the worlds zoos. "I am drawing up a list of all animals I think look a bit like the Gurkhas would like them - and I want them released into the community where they can flourish and roam free - especially the tigers".

At this stage, the press started to drift away, a bit worried about Ms Lumleys state of mind - and they wanted a cup of tea anyway.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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