Chris Tarrant Mauled By Joanna Lumley In 'Cash For Questions' Row

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

image for Chris Tarrant Mauled By Joanna Lumley In 'Cash For Questions' Row
No Deal Noel!

Joanna Lumley, champion of the Gurkhas, prospective Lord Mayor of London, the 'new' Maggie, the 'new' Boadicea and the old Patsy off Ab Fab has been hitting the headlines again by asserting that TV presenter Chris Tarrant is up to his neck in the latest 'cash for questions' outrage.

"Don't get me wrong," she told us, swigging Bolly from a bottle. "There's nothing personal involved here. I quite like Chris, even though he is allegedly a drunken philandering bastard. But let him deny that he's accepted cash for questions and I'll show you a bare faced liar. He's been at it for years, and he should be made accountable for it."

The cash for questions accusations stem from Tarrant's involvement in TV show 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?' which Tarrant regularly took an active role in. Some estimates suggest that Tarrant made more money from the show than was handed out in prize money to contestants.

We confronted a bleary eyed Tarrant on the doorstep of his Cotswold hideaway this morning as he was taking the milk in.

"Of course I took cash for questions," he told us. "It was my job. And the show was better than 'Deal Or No Deal' and 'Goldenballs' but together. Edmonds and Carrot are losers. Now do piss off."

At which point we did indeed piss off as requested.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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