London, UK - Britney Spears and Madonna announced today their plan to open an autoerotic sex clinic in London. The clinic is to be called "Carradine's".
Banking on their names as hot, sex-driven celebrities, the two have each invested over $1 mil. US to help create and nurture the autoerotic sex fad, starting in the U.K. and branching out worldwide.
"There is tremendous interest in deviant behaviour.." said the two pop singer's publicist, a retired gay jewish doctor and businessman from the Upper West Side of Manhattan who goes by the name 'Quantum Leap'.
"There is a particularly large, untapped market. We shall be drawing on the 'well-heeled of London - politicians, film business folk, and, in particular, businessmen and judges; people that have a hard time fitting their fetishes into their constrictive lifestyles."
"The only downside is we had to turn away a really wealthy guy who showed up in a black Bentley that he had outfitted in white lace and leather chaps. I don't think he understood the field of autoeroticism. There's a lot of confusion out there."
