Schoolboy Jailed for Stealing 'Weed'

Funny story written by IN SEINE

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

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Who's been a naughty boy then?

A 7-year-old schoolboy had the 'find of his life' when he discovered no less than a 7-leafed clover.

Alexander Burns was skiving from school when he took his dog for a walk with his father, a poacher, on private land adjacent to a nature reserve at Combe Bassett in Wiltshire.

Alex told In Seine News:

"I was out rabbiting wiv me dog and me owd man was acting as lookout. 'e saw the farmer approaching on 'is tractor and yelled; "Quick run for it!" I was already weighed down by 4 brace of rabbits an' I tripped over in the long grass - at least nobody could see me!"

"Phew that was close!" I says to meself as I heard the tractor chug into the next field. As I was crawling through the undergrowth I came across this 7-leaf clover. I whispered to my dad to come and look and he suggested we pick it 'coz 7 is a lucky number. I picked it. That farmer spotted us legging it over the fields so 'e must've called the fuzz over. Anyways we was caught red handed we were; me wiv all these rabbits an' dad wiv a couple of trout in his bag an' a telescopic rod 'idden in'is trousers."

"Next thing I knows is I am standing in front of the beak. He charged me with poachin' rabbits, stealin' rare plants, trespassin', playin' truant and runnin' away from the scene of a crime. Although I tried the 'little-boy-lost' look on 'im, the bugger threw the book at me an' sentenced me to ... guess ... 7 years! 7 years! Then 'is 'onour has the cheek to say I were lucky 'e didn't take the other 7 offences into account."

"I guess I is lucky coz I dunner 'ave to go to school!" he said with a smile.

Alex's father, Willie Burns, was sentenced to 7 hours community service.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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